27.02.06

My phone doesn’t ring often.

So I don’t bother switching it off at the movies.

There are no sms jokes from those who are too lazy to keep in touch. And none to forward when I feel lazy myself.

I think of those who are often in my thoughts but hardly in your inbox. I also think twice before deleting delivery reports.

Maybe now I won’t mind having an annoying ring tone. Now that my phone is nothing but the watch I never wear.

Sometimes, if I want to hear it ring, I set the alarm.

My phone doesn’t ring often.

But hey, the battery seems to last longer these days.

24.02.06

When do their white faces stop looking white.
And just look like faces.

When does their babble stop sounding like babble.
And more like conversation.

When do I realise that they are not foreigners.
But I am.

23.02.06

More on winter.

But first, may I suggest a little exercise with your gloves for those who would like to be in my shoes:

1. Wear a pair of gloves.

2. Not the surgical variety. Thick woollen gloves and remember to keep them on throughout this test.

3. Take your favourite book. Open any page that offers to present itself. Read through it.

4. And now, try turning the page.

5. Jumping pages is not allowed. If you are on page 22, you may only proceed to page 23. Remember to flip it gently, with only your index finger and your thumb aiding you in this whole ordeal.

6. When this starts to get on your nerves, try the second test.

7. Take some money.

8. Not the circular variety. But crisp notes which are even more precious when they are more expensive to buy with your native currency.

9. Stack a bunch of them, one on top of the other.

10. Keeping the same finger-thumb coordination in mind as stated above. Remember, both the thumb and the finger should still be safely handicapped beneath their woollen alter egos.

11. Now count the money.

Season’s greetings!

14.02.06

Cold, as I have realised in the past few days, is an inadequate adjective for winter.

The air is hungry and goes straight for your face. Biting right into the unsuspecting naked skin, which plays the unwilling martyr in this war between wool and winter.

This is usually not the best time to ask for a kiss. The face has lost all sensations and even an exotic Thai massage would fail to arouse them back.

That’s maybe because Thailand is a tropical country. And according to the last Eskimo census, there were no known masseurs among them. Pity.

But if you have sinned, it’s the best time to ask for a slap. Or get whacked across your face with sledgehammer. You may die, of course. But I can promise it would be a painless exit.

Dhen dhere is dhis thng abhout d thpeech. D thongue theems dhrunk andh you shuffer phrom vherbhal dyslexia.

And all they can say is it’s cold!

13.02.06

Familiarity is known to breed contempt. But as a first-time foreigner, I wonder if the known or even faintly acquainted would indeed beg for my forgiveness.

On the other hand, I may ask myself if I really wish to go down roads already travelled. Maybe it’s time to unlearn everything that I learnt; to drop defences, to stop staying ‘I know’, to go back in time and become a child again.

A new land. A new language. Different cuisine. Different seasons. Nothing is how I expected. Or maybe it helped that I wasn’t expecting anything.

This is a time when I have the curiosity of a tourist and the indifference of a native.

Sure, I would want to be the first to see the astronomical clock tick at the end of every hour.

But even If I cant, I know I can always come back tomorrow.

There are no budgets to stick to, no souvenirs to buy and no planes to catch.

So I decide to stay contemptuous.

11.02.06

As a child I used to collect stamps from all over the world.
But now that I am moving abroad, no one cares to write letters anymore.